A fierce woman brings energy, passion and a healthy intensity to what she does. She is a loving force to be reckoned with. By fabulous and fearless, I mean that she is comfortable in her own skin and knows how to rock her hair, clothes, accessories, and make-up (if she chooses to wear it). She is governed by love more than by fear. Her heart and mind are open wide, instead of closed or contracted. She easily and generously gives and shares love instead of being overly cautious, distrusting, and controlled by the fear of “being hurt” in her friendships with other women, as well as in her love relationships with men.
And creating and living a fierce, fabulous and fearless life certainly didn’t come about by accident, happenstance or luck, but by consistently, deliberately and intentionally making decisions and then aligning my choices and actions with my highest passions and commitments, daily and weekly. There was no magic wand to wave or a magic pill to take.
There are three key concepts that been my personal guiding lights. Allow me to introduce you to Key #1.
Key #1: Be the CDO (Chief Design Officer) of Your Life
It is easy to fall prey to speaking and acting as if our lives have us “at affect,” and we are moving along like we’re caught in a current in a boat with no oars. However, being CDO of your life requires that you first recognize that you are divinely designed with the ability, power and mind to be the Chief Design Officer of Your Life – you are endowed with the power to consciously and intentionally decide what you desire to have in your life, what kinds of relationships and friendships you want to have, and what mood, attitude, thoughts and beliefs you want to manifest. This means that you CAN design your life, on purpose, so that it is a reflection of what makes your heart sing, what brings joy, and what supports your full and highest self-expression.
Experiencing yourself as CDO of your Life can get thwarted though, because we can become convinced by media messaging from TV shows, the news, movies, social media, and what is modeled by other women, that creating and living a life that you truly desire, and deeply enjoy, is either an unattainable pipe dream, or it requires that you don a cape and become a stressed out Superwoman in order to make it real. This is bull shxx!!!
One of the tools I’ve used over the years to help me get clear about and then bring forth a fierce, fabulous and fearless life is vision boards. To make a vision board, you cut out words and images from magazines that are then glued onto poster board. These words and images cast a visual image of what you want to experience as real in my life.
At one time, there were many gaps between my actual life and what was appearing on my vision board. (I now have six vision boards that grace my “inspiration wall” in my office). Now, I can honestly say that there are only a few narrow gaps remaining. But the journey to virtually “no gaps” has required lots of “sit down” quiet time, to get crystal clear about what I wanted my life to look like. It has resulted in journals filled with evidence of the “divine self work” I’ve done to cleanse and purge myself of beliefs I’ve been bombarded with from media and other folks that claim: “You can’t have it all. You have to be a stressed-out Superwoman. You can’t create a life that makes your heart sing, and especially if you have kids.” Well, I have kids AND a husband, and to me, neither is an “excuse” for me not creating a life that I desire and deserve.
I even was intentional about the type of marriage I wanted to have, the type of parent I wanted to be, and the type of mother I wanted to be. I’m not interested in a perfect life – I’m interested in one that works for me, brings me deep joy, and has me jump out of bed, excited, with live each new day.