Love Lie #1: LOVE IS FOUND
Before my “detox” from this Love Lie began, I would speak of love like it was something to “find” or acquire from the One who I thought “had” it. That someone else was commonly known as The Soul Mate, Mr. Right, or A Husband. I also believed that it was his job and responsibility to make me happy.
In our relationships pop culture, there is little to no conversation about love first being in place in the human relationship you’re already in — the one with yourself. The truth is that self-love is not optional, “extra,” or a bonus – it is essential.
This Love Lie will convince us that love is a thing to be “found” in another, like the hunt for a missing puzzle piece within ourselves. Actually, love occurs first as an experience within our own being, and then is expressed, and shared with another. We’ve had the sequence all wrong. We’ve been conditioned to want to “get” or acquire love from a man so that we can then experience it within ourselves.
The truth is that love is a force and an energy that is built in to our Divine Design. It is part of our essence and our innermost being. It is like an ever-flowing river, always available for us to “connect to its current” within. We’ve been duped into thinking that FIRST connecting to and having an inner experience of “this current” in the relationships you’re ALREADY in – the one with yourself – is optional, inconsequential, insignificant. Actually, it’s critical, essential, and a necessary pre-requisite to having solid self-love share. When you do, you are able to extend, share and offer love to another.
love is not found……. yes, this is so true for me. I so understand the inner work is key and that the stillness has to take place not just once but several time to actually heal. This work is a continuous work no matter what age you are.
Provocative article! So true , thank you for this reminder. After 5 years of a challenging marriage, I have had to go thru the same journey of reconnecting with my inner spirit. Over the course of the last year, I realized that the change begins with me…loving me and getting my zest back.