What is it that kills the passion, the excitement and the thrill of a new love relationship? There are many “killers.” Over time, we can begin to take the other for granted, we let familiarity breed contempt, we become complacent and “comfortable” in our interactions, or we begin to claim that we “know them” after we’ve been with them for a while.
All of these can kill the thrill in a love relationship, and especially a marriage. The great news is that it need not be so, and I will share simple yet powerful ways (that cost ZERO dollars!) to keep the flame of passion and enthusiasm burning in your love relationship or marriage, no matter how long you two have been together.
What I’m going to offer may not be what you think. Instead of following the promptings of our pop culture that emphasize a man having to spend money to “keep a woman happy,” on gifts, dinner, or trips, or emphasizing that women need to become bedroom vixens or don a variety of costumes as a prelude to sex in order to keep the flames burning, I am going to go against the grain.
Instead, I am suggesting something to the contrary – 3 simple ways that amplify the power of being present, connecting with his energy, and the loving touch, that require attention and being present, but not money – simple ways to nourish your relationship connection.
These work wonders, that is, if you all are not constantly in the midst of World War Three, icing each other out with the silent treatment, or resentment has been building like pressure cooker in the relationship. At times of peace and harmony, are powerful times to put these simple steps into practice. You’ll find that they actually strengthen the bond and deepen the connection between you and your partner –and it won’t cost you a dime!
You’ve probably seen it in chick flicks and romantic comedies, particularly those aimed at women…It’s that magical, golden moment that can cause viewers watching the screen to hold their breath in anticipation. It’s the moment when the male love interest stands close, gently reaches down to tilt her chin upward, and then gazes deeply and lovingly into her eyes. His gaze oozes with adoration for her.
Watching this type of scene can trigger all kinds of deep inner yearnings and longings in women, who so desires to be on the receiving end of such a tender moment.
All you have to do to make this type of movie scene real in your own relationship is to seize a moment when you two can stand very close, face to face, with the fronts of your bodies facing one another. Step in closer, and then look (up) into his eyes, softly (be sure your breath is fresh). Hold the gaze for three seconds and then touch his cheek gently as you complete the gaze. There is no need for words.
Hugs are definitely under-rated in our culture. Yes a warm embrace just downright feels good, and it gives us a warm feeling in our hearts, and even all over our bodies, but there’s a lot of other remarkable stuff that goes on when a hug takes place with your sweetheart or someone you love or care deeply for. Not only does hugging stimulate the release of oxytocin, the “cuddle hormone” or “bonding hormone” that promotes feelings of contentment and reduced anxiety. It also generates feelings of devotion, trust and bonding.
A new research study at the University of California even suggests that it has a civilizing effect on males, making them more affectionate and better at forming relationships; not to mention that it can dramatically increase libido. Even the immune system can be strengthened by a steady diet of hugs.
And if that weren’t yummy enough, hugs stimulate the brain’s release of dopamine, the pleasure hormone. The same affect that people try to achieve using drugs such as cocaine or methamphetamines can be achieved with a hug, and without any side effects – and it’s legal!
To get the full effect of a good, long hug, stand face to face with your sweetheart, and position yourself so that your hearts will be heart-to-heart when you hug. You can do the “your arms around his neck” and his arms “around your waist” style of hug, or you can do the “alternating arms” hug. Each of you put your arms out at a slight diagonal slant and then wrap them around each other. The key is holding the embrace for at least three seconds, whichever method you choose.
The key ingredient in the stroke is the movement of your hands up and down the back, arm, chest, thigh, face, or butt in a long, slow, gentle movement that conveys love and adoration. To combine the stroke with the gaze is like the 1-2 combo – double the power and affect. The periphery of the body like arms or back is less sexually loaded than stroking the chest, thighs or butt areas.
The Mental Health newsletter states, “Our skin is our largest organ, and it can be very sensitive and responsive. The warmth of a hand held, the sensation of a soft cheek against ours, arms wrapped around shoulders in embrace… they can all go a long way toward expressing our affection for someone. But touch can actually give more than a momentary tingle or a second of solace; touch can comfort and heal. A loving stroke can also bond us together in ways that transcend words or in situations in which words may not help.”